Distinguishing Between What I Can and Cannot Control
In the ever-evolving landscape of life, we often find ourselves grappling with circumstances that we cannot control.
This struggle can become an obsession, fueling anxiety and stress that seem impossible.
The renowned psychiatrist Scott Peck emphasized this very aspect – the importance of distinguishing between what we can and cannot control in life.
As a therapist I often interacts with individuals facing such challenges they cannot control and I have observed firsthand how this inability to distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable factors can lead to unnecessary worry.
Through my interactions and therapy sessions, one thing has become abundantly clear: understanding our sphere of influence is crucial for maintaining balance and navigating life’s challenges effectively.
To help my clients clarify their concerns, I recommend a simple yet effective assignment titled “Things I Can And Cannot Control.” The task involves segregating aspects of your life into two categories – ‘controllable’ versus ‘uncontrollable,’ listed on either side of a paper.
This exercise is an eye-opener for many; it helps pinpoint sources of anxiety while shedding light on areas where they genuinely hold sway.
Doing so teaches you to focus your energy constructively and develop resilience against unforeseen obstacles.
Consider this real-life example of a situation he cannot control:
A client of mine spent significant time driving daily due to work commitments.
His aggressive driving style added to his already high stress levels making this challenge in life more frustrating; until he decided to take matters into his own hands (quite literally!).
Instead of rushing through traffic lanes impatiently, he consciously drove slower in the right lane.
He cannot control everyone else’s driving but he can control his driving and the way he reacts.
The result?
He found that arriving at destinations slightly later than usual didn’t impact his schedule significantly as he had feared initially; instead, it drastically reduced his stress level from daily commuting!
What seemed like an insignificant change substantially improved his overall quality of life.
Such examples reveal how adopting a positive mindset towards perceived obstacles can transform them into opportunities for growth rather than setbacks in disguise.
So here’s my recommendation for you today: Try implementing these strategies yourself when facing challenging situations – be it during your commute or any other scenario where you feel overwhelmed by external factors beyond your control.
Remember – slowing down isn’t always equivalent to falling behind; sometimes, it could just be the key needed to unlock lower stress levels and better peace of mind!
Life will continue throwing curveballs at you; however, if you learn how to navigate these hurdles by gracefully focusing on aspects within your control while accepting those outside of your control, managing everyday issues becomes less daunting—an empowering thought!
Action Items
1. Identify What You Can and Cannot Control: Start by writing down all the things that you feel are causing you stress or anxiety. Once done, separate them into two categories: those you can control and those you cannot.
2. Focus on What You Can Control: Pay attention to the items in your control category. These are aspects of your life where you have direct influence and should focus your energy on improving or managing better.
3. Let Go of What You Cannot Control: For items in the non-controllable category, accept that these are beyond your power to change and try to let go of any associated worry or stress.
4. Adopt a Positive Mindset: View obstacles not as setbacks but opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective can help reduce anxiety levels significantly.
5. Maintain Inner Balance: Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises regularly to keep yourself grounded amidst life’s challenges
6. Make Small Changes for Big Impact: Identify simple changes that could potentially lower stress levels – like driving slower if traffic stresses you out – then implement these changes into your daily routine.
7. Recognize Your Progress: Regularly review your list of controllable factors and note any progress made towards managing them better – this will provide motivation for continued improvement.
8. Seek Professional Help If Needed: If feelings of anxiety persist despite trying these steps, consider seeking in-depth professional help from a therapist who can provide further guidance based on individual needs.